Love and Blunder » 2006 » December http://loveandblunder.com "To become aware of the possibility of the search is to be onto something. Not to be onto something is to be in despair." - Walker Percy, The Moviegoer Tue, 26 Aug 2008 11:04:40 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.6 en The difference between the way our girls view one another http://loveandblunder.com/2006/12/23/the-difference-between-the-way-our-girls-view-one-another/ http://loveandblunder.com/2006/12/23/the-difference-between-the-way-our-girls-view-one-another/#comments Sat, 23 Dec 2006 04:36:14 +0000 Devona http://loveandblunder.com/2006/12/23/the-difference-between-the-way-our-girls-view-one-another/ is really striking. Olivia is a drive-by-fan of Elise. Olivia takes great pride in making Elise’s happy noise (an unvoiced, glottal fricative) and watching Elise light up. But Olivia is also very much into her own fantasies right now, and so a lot of her relationship with Elise is in watching how I take care of her and then mimicking that with her own babies. So, Elise is a round character in Olivia’s play, but it is still Olivia’s play in Olivia’s mind.

It is also Olivia’s play in Elise’s mind. If Olivia is in Elise’s line of sight nothing else can divert her attention. If Olivia can be heard in the room Elise is busy trying to find her. And Elise also has set herself upon the task of sitting up already (at three months old!) and you can almost see that it is all in determination to get closer to her hero, Olivia.

I wonder about the difference between the growing experiences of children from different positions in the birth order. Do you suppose it is going to be a disadvantage to Rob’s and my parenting since we are both the oldest? I wonder if we will find ourselves sympathizing with Olivia’s position more readily, or if we will be harder on her because we know where she’s coming from.

Only time will tell, but I do know this: though Olivia has been the princess and center of my world for the past two years. Elise came along and has managed to become the center of my world, too. Somehow she managed to become a princess in my kingdom without dethroning Olivia. There is enough amazing wonder in my eyes as “Mom” for the both of them.

]]> http://loveandblunder.com/2006/12/23/the-difference-between-the-way-our-girls-view-one-another/feed/ Olivia’s late nap http://loveandblunder.com/2006/12/20/olivias-late-nap/ http://loveandblunder.com/2006/12/20/olivias-late-nap/#comments Wed, 20 Dec 2006 22:15:02 +0000 Devona http://loveandblunder.com/2006/12/20/olivias-late-nap/ OK, so we moved Olivia into a toddler bed, which she has been a little nervous about, but has been very determined to use. Elise is almost ready to move into the crib, and since it is in Olivia’s room I’m not too worried about her feeling lonely, especially since she sleeps at least 6 to 7 hour stretches at night, and does almost all of her napping in my arms.

So anyway, today Olivia didn’t want to go to sleep, but I knew that she was very tired, so I closed her in her room for a “quiet time” and told her that I’d be back in an hour, and she could call me if she needed me. In that time she pooped, and called for me, banged around and made a mess, and was generally peacefully occupied in her room. Well, I went up at the end of the hour and she was asleep. Not only that, but she had carefully tucked herself into her bed all by herself, and she is sleeping soundly. It’s all very cute, but now I’m trying to decide if I should wake her up, since it’s dinner time in a half hour?

Difficult situation…

]]> http://loveandblunder.com/2006/12/20/olivias-late-nap/feed/ Christmas Quizzy! http://loveandblunder.com/2006/12/18/christmas-quizzy/ http://loveandblunder.com/2006/12/18/christmas-quizzy/#comments Mon, 18 Dec 2006 21:02:58 +0000 Devona http://loveandblunder.com/2006/12/18/christmas-quizzy/ From Katie’s Beer, via Shelley’s Talk blog. I haven’t done a quiz in a long time, but this one seemed especially worth my time. Since I have insomnia tonight (I fell asleep with the snuggly baby and the snuggly doggie on the couch, and then when I went to bed I remembered that Elise has peed on the sheets this morning, so I had to change them. That woke me up too much so now I’m here trying to get sleepy again.)
1. Egg Nog or Hot Chocolate?

Really I’d just prefer cookies and coffee.

2. Does Santa wrap presents or just set them under the tree?

We’re still trying to figure out what Santa does in our home.

3. Colored or white lights on the tree and/or house?

White. It just looks so classy.
4. Do you hang mistletoe?

No.

5. When do you put your decorations up?

I put things up the Friday or Saturday after Thanksgiving.

6. What is your favorite holiday dish (excluding dessert)?

There never were any specifically Christmas dishes in my family growing up, so I have come to really looks forward to Mary’s oyster stew on Christmas Eve.

7. Favorite holiday memory as a child.

I have a very particular memory of looking up at the lights from under the tree, and feeling very magical.

8. When and how did you learn the truth about Santa?

If you want to know a little about my personality, I can’t come right out and say something with out a reason. This drives Rob nuts. “Rob, I bought new curtains because blah blah blah….” instead of just, “hey do you like the new curtains?” So, the perfect illustration of this is the Santa Revelation story. It goes like this:

I came down stairs on one non-Christmas-season day and randomly asked my mom, “Mom, is there a Santa? I really need to know because if I never find out the truth and I always believe he’s real, and so I don’t buy my kids any gifts and he’s not real, then they won’t get any gifts and they’ll think they were bad, even if they weren’t.” I think I was 10.

9. Do you open a gift on Christmas Eve?

I can’t remember what we’ve done recently. We might have opened the Brazier gifts on Christmas Eve since we visit them then.

10. How do you decorate your Christmas tree?

When we got married I bought a bunch of plastic ornaments from the dollar store to fill our empty tree. I have since been collecting ornaments that have any sort of meaning. So our tree has about 3 real ornaments and the rest is paper ornaments I made and plastics colored balls and apples. Then there’s the all white lights. And some colorful ribbon for garland. The tree is real, of course, because my parents always had a fake one (which is the same reason I have lights outside, my parents never did. And also why we have a dog…)

11. Snow! Love it or dread it?

I love snow. I hate the clouds that bring it.

12. Can you ice skate?

We took Olivia ice skaing for her first time this year. We both loved it, and are probably going to go do it again soon.

13. Do you remember your favorite gift?

My dad bought me an electric guitar I never learned to play. But that was my favorite gift of all time because wanted it sooooooooooo bad. But I was an awful teenager that year and so my parents said I couldn’t have it. Christmas morning came and I opened all my gifts; no guitar. About an hour later my dad brought out the guitar and I was so excited I cried. That was a very tangible experience of grace.

14. What’s the most important thing about the holidays for you?

Christ is the center of Christmas, of course, and the season wouldn’t be the same without the Advent Services and Christmas Eve service. So, I guess that family, friends and community are the most important aspect of Christmas. (I just stole TK’s answer here cause mine is the same.)

15. What is your favorite holiday dessert?

Everything. I love the baking as much as the eating. I am the “food-lady,” according to Rob.

16. What is your favorite holiday tradition?

I love making our own traditions. So far we have The Sing with the Braziers. The rest will come with time.

17. What tops your tree?

A cheapy star.

18. Which do you prefer, giving or receiving?

When I’ve found the right gift I love to give. When I can tell that someone put a lot of thought into my gift I love to receive.

19. What is your favorite Christmas song?

Matthew’s Begats from Andrew Peterson’s “Behold the Lamb of God.”

20. Candy Canes! Yuck or yum?

Fun to turn into a pointy weapon. Other than that, I’d still prefer cookies and coffee.

]]> http://loveandblunder.com/2006/12/18/christmas-quizzy/feed/ Don’t tell Elise… http://loveandblunder.com/2006/12/18/dont-tell-elise/ http://loveandblunder.com/2006/12/18/dont-tell-elise/#comments Mon, 18 Dec 2006 20:58:09 +0000 Devona http://loveandblunder.com/2006/12/18/dont-tell-elise/ but she just got a dozen of these for Christmas. What else do you get for a baby when mom has a meticulous system for hand-me-downs?

]]> http://loveandblunder.com/2006/12/18/dont-tell-elise/feed/ Knock Knock http://loveandblunder.com/2006/12/07/knock-knock/ http://loveandblunder.com/2006/12/07/knock-knock/#comments Thu, 07 Dec 2006 04:38:30 +0000 Devona http://loveandblunder.com/2006/12/07/knock-knock/ x-posted at the old blog

I don’t know why, but every child must learn to tell a knock knock joke. I think that it must be a prerequisite for reading. This is Olivia’s:

Mom: Say, “knock knock.”

Liv: Knock knock.

Other family member: Who’s there?

Liv: Radio not…

Mom: Wait! Say, “Radio.”

Liv: Radio.

Other family member: Radio who?

Liv: (30 seconds of silence)

Mom: (elevated eyebrows of encouragement)

Liv: Radio not! Here I come!

Everyone: (exaggerated giggling)

]]> http://loveandblunder.com/2006/12/07/knock-knock/feed/ Adoption http://loveandblunder.com/2006/12/03/adoption/ http://loveandblunder.com/2006/12/03/adoption/#comments Mon, 04 Dec 2006 02:32:22 +0000 Devona http://loveandblunder.com/2006/12/03/adoption/ Most people who know me know that my father adopted me when I was 2. I have always had my biological mother, so I wasn’t traditionally adopted, but I do know how it feels to love someone who is chromosomally different from me in every way as though we were flesh and blood.

I just got home from visiting my dad. We drove the three and a half hours to spend the weekend with him and my step-mom and her mother. On the road home, at 9:30pm, I brought up to Rob that I want to adopt our next child.

This went over like a ton of lead balloons. Not because Rob doesn’t want to adopt, but he’s so practical. Adoption is very practical, inasmuch as you have to actually apply and be accepted and adopt a real live child. Adoption is unlike pregnancy, in that it can absolutely never happen by accident. It can’t spring upon you when you’re not prepared. But if you only see it as a practical matter it would never happen. Much like you are never all the way ready for your first biological child, you can never be fully ready to adopt.

I, on the other hand, see adoption in a very (not to sound gnostic) spiritual way. I have a serious connection to a child who I will never carry, and likely does not yet exist. So to me all the practical things are just the hoops we’re going to jump in order to get to what Adoption really is, a child I somehow already love. Most people have no idea what that feels like.

It’s probably a good thing that we don’t see Adoption in exactly the same way. If it weren’t for my idealism it would never happen. And if it weren’t for Rob’s practicality we’d be head over heals with the process today, regardless of the fact we have a newborn and a toddler.

So. Now we’re talking about it. This is a break-through post for me. It’s something I am afraid to talk about, since once you start talking about something idealistic it becomes subject to reality and becomes something that might not happen. So I’m not going to go into to many details. But this might become a frequent topic for me as we explore the idea more as a family.

We’re getting our feet wet.

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