A winter

I’ve been through a kind of inspirational winter. Where I once saw greenery and new life and felt light breaking open inside of me, there was for a long while an expanse of ice and snow. Things die in the winter. They curl up and decay and molder and traces of themselves and traces of other things all coalesce until there is only dark earth.

That happens with the imagination, too. Passion, hope, fierceness of belief grow brown-edged, curl inward and crumble.

But “there lives the dearest fresness deep down things.”* The dying and dead things are a humus of memory. And somewhere there is life. Breathing silent, pushing slowly upward.

Work

One more reason to loof forward to the resurrection of the dead, the life of the world to come: The complete renewal and redefinition of work. Man’s curse becomes pure pleasure, great glory to God.

The awakening of conscience

Olivia is on the cusp between the age where she cannot control her impulses, and the age where she can. She has known right from wrong in some sense for a long time. I know this because she is very verbal and enjoys telling her aunts and uncles, “We don’t go outside by ourselves!” or, “Stop fighting!” Knowing right and wrong does not equal being able to master her own desires and comply and so we have a lot of correcting, reminding, redirecting etc.

Well, where she once took the correction, reminding, and redirecting as an annoying interruption to her active play, she now reacts very humbly. When I have said, “Olivia, we don’t use our hands for hitting. Use gentle hands with our sister,” these past few weeks a new response has come from my little girl. She covers her eyes with her hands and sometimes she even apologizes spontaneously. It’s simultaneously adorable and encouraging.

I try to meet every, “I’m sorry, Elise!” with a: “She forgives you. Now we all feel better.” And after something has made Olivia feel particularly guilty I remind her of how Christ has died on the cross for her sins and she doesn’t need to feel bad anymore.

I think this is probably the perfect time to introduce the Ten Commandments. And hopefully I can start helping her to understand how pushing her sister is breaking the fourth and fifth commandments. That’s probably a little ambitious. But it pays to aim high.