Most people who know me know that my father adopted me when I was 2. I have always had my biological mother, so I wasn’t traditionally adopted, but I do know how it feels to love someone who is chromosomally different from me in every way as though we were flesh and blood.
I just got home from visiting my dad. We drove the three and a half hours to spend the weekend with him and my step-mom and her mother. On the road home, at 9:30pm, I brought up to Rob that I want to adopt our next child.
This went over like a ton of lead balloons. Not because Rob doesn’t want to adopt, but he’s so practical. Adoption is very practical, inasmuch as you have to actually apply and be accepted and adopt a real live child. Adoption is unlike pregnancy, in that it can absolutely never happen by accident. It can’t spring upon you when you’re not prepared. But if you only see it as a practical matter it would never happen. Much like you are never all the way ready for your first biological child, you can never be fully ready to adopt.
I, on the other hand, see adoption in a very (not to sound gnostic) spiritual way. I have a serious connection to a child who I will never carry, and likely does not yet exist. So to me all the practical things are just the hoops we’re going to jump in order to get to what Adoption really is, a child I somehow already love. Most people have no idea what that feels like.
It’s probably a good thing that we don’t see Adoption in exactly the same way. If it weren’t for my idealism it would never happen. And if it weren’t for Rob’s practicality we’d be head over heals with the process today, regardless of the fact we have a newborn and a toddler.
So. Now we’re talking about it. This is a break-through post for me. It’s something I am afraid to talk about, since once you start talking about something idealistic it becomes subject to reality and becomes something that might not happen. So I’m not going to go into to many details. But this might become a frequent topic for me as we explore the idea more as a family.
We’re getting our feet wet.
You know, my husband was adopted in much the same way you were: He knew his biological mother, who married his dad when my husband was a toddler. They got married, he adopted my husband, and after a while, they had my husband’s two younger sisters.
Also, I have a younger cousin who was adopted. She never knew, and doesn’t care to ever know, her biological parents.
My husband and I have talked some about adoption, too, but we’d like to try to have one or two on our own first.
Good for you for wanting to adopt. I think it is a very wonderful gift that you would give to any child blessed to be a part of your home and family.
I was adopted by my Dad, too. *hug*
Praying for y’all!
Thanks everyone. :)
I know this is an older post, but I still wanted to comment. Found you through a comment at Anti-Racist Parent. I am a columnists over there. I am a multiracial mother or 4 multiracial children all under the age of 6. 2 of our children joined our family through homebirth and 2 of our children joined our family through open domestic transracial adoption. We adopted as a first choice.
I write about multiracial family life at http://www.multiracialsky.wordpress.com and I have a site of resources for multiracial families at http://www.multiracialsky.com.
Best to you and your family,
Natasha
Thanks for commenting Natasha. I will bookmark your blog and site in my feed reader so I can keep up.
This is the kind of environment I need to be submersed in in order to adopt in an educated way.
Thanks again!
Devona
i just came here from Anti Racist Parent too. I am going to add your blog to my feed reader and keep up with you. God Bless your family.