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I can hardly believe that it was eight years ago that I first began my induction with Olivia. It feels like a whole life ago, and I guess it actually is a whole life ago. It was the beginning of Olivia’s life this side of the womb, the beginning of the life of our family, and the beginning of my life as a mother.

Olivia has changed almost everything about me. I had to learn to love myself so that she can grow to love herself. I had to learn to be responsible so that she would also be responsible. By teaching her to be respectful of all people, she challenges me to be respectful to others as well. She is excited about almost every day, and it rubs off on me. She is self motivated and a hard worker, which inspires me to get my work done. We could never have planned to be changed the way she has changed us, but all of the best changes always seem to be surprises.

Liv and Rob bond over reading books together. They are slowly working through every sci-fi and fantasy novel ever. Over the summer they read the first two Harry Potters and The Hobbit. He just ordered The Dragon Egg for her on his Kindle which she is carrying around with her all day. She read the first four chapters just this afternoon.

Olivia and I bond through being outdoors together. We love to hike and go camping. She is really proud to have me be her Girl Scout leader, and it fills me with joy. She has plans for building a girls only camp site on an island in the Cuyahoga River. I wish her all the luck in the world. Good thing we learned how to shoot a bow and arrow, she won’t go starving.

So here we are. Three kids later, our oldest is half way to driving. She likes to remind us all the time that she’s almost a teenager. I’m glad she’s not right, but I must say I don’t really fear parenting older kids like I once did. As they get older, we can do more together. We talk about their world, we make plans together and get them done. Also, they just spend time cracking me up. Eight years in and we’re just getting going!

While I ran errands today I drove through Highland Square, the little town center I’ve called home for the last 10 years. In that time, I have seen it change a little here, a bit more there. For example, the closing of Two Amigos. Or,Â the knocking down of the Star Market to build the shopping center with Chipotle and the new Highland Square branch of the Akron Library. The development that has happened has been controversial, but over all, I would have to say the Square is improving.

I moved to the West Hill/ Highland Square area with my pseudo-sister Sharon after we graduated from High School. We rented an apartment which we named “Spiritual Rehab,” and lived there for a year. After our lease was up, she got married and moved in with her husband to a two bedroom apartment in the Crescent Apartments right in the heart of the Square. When we’d visit together we’d sit on the grassy spot between the Crescent and her twin building the Von and drink coffee from Angel Falls. I always wished I had gotten an apartment in one of those buildings.

Instead, when I married Rob we moved into the second and third floor of a century home in West Hill. Sharon and my sister Brittany planned my bachelorette party. We met in Highland Square (can anyone remember where?! I am drawing a blank) first, and Sharon introduced our event for the evening. We divided into two groups and each group was given a penny. We were given a two hour time limit and told that we had to ask strangers to trade us the penny for something “bigger and better.” Then to trade the next thing for something else bigger and better. Hence, the name of the game: Bigger and Better.

One group took off in their cars. My group crossed the street and went into the Crescent apartments and started knocking on doors. In one apartment we traded the penny for a quarter. In the next a man in his underwear holding a cat traded us the quarter for a frisbee. We knocked on a few more doors only to get rejected, so we crossed the driveway over to the Von.

We were much more successful there. At the first door we tried we were invited into a home which was decorated with neon green walls and a spiral of microwaved CDs on the wall. Not only were the renters super nice, but they traded us the frisbee for a plastic 80s elementary school chair. We thanked them and tried another apartment on the third floor. Those renters traded us the school chair for an oak desk.

We carried the desk down three flights of stairs, just about out of time, and shoved it into the back seat of Brittany’s car. We ran out of room in the back seat for people, so my friend Eliza rode in the trunk. When we got to the restaurant we where we had agreed to meet up, the other group had traded their penny for another friend of mine who came along to the party. I decided that was cheating, so we won. Besides it was my bachelorette party, so I got to win no matter what. In the end we ended up giving the desk to the friend who the penny was traded for and it was a successful night for everyone.

So that’s my story of the Crescent and the Von. Today I watched a backhoe knock them down to rubble. I couldn’t help but wonder if what was going there in their place will be bigger and better. Or maybe it’s just more parking. Does anyone out there in Akronville know the story? What’s going to live in the footprint of the great twins of Highland Square?

I think the answer might be yes. I never thought it could be true before, but I think it must be so. Â It all started when one of the Girl Scout moms in our area joked that I was crazy for taking on a second troop and I admitted it was because I wanted to be sure that Elise’s troop would get to do all the same stuff that Olivia’s troop is doing. That was my first hint.

Then this morning as I was wallowing in the depths of my lack-of-control, also known as parenting Elise when she is in a bad mood, first I cried and got some emotional encouragement from some school friends. Then I went to Panera, bought myself a bagel I didn’t need and spent the morning checking things off my “to-do at the computer” list. I felt like a million bucks. I even managed to fit in a trip to Staples to replace our printer toner so I could do more to-dos tomorrow. Then I wrote this Facebook Status: “Note to self: when having a bad day, spend an hour controlling the things you can control. Then you will feel better about the stuff you can’t control.”

One of the comments to that post was, “Thanks for the reminder! love, a fellow control-freak.” And it hit me like a ton of bricks. I am a control freak. I know how it needs to be done, an I’m just going to get out there and do it so move over already.

Sorry, Rob. I’m a pain in the rear to do home improvement projects with, and now I know it’s me, not you. Sorry, kids. You guys are sweet and lovely, and I’m sorry I don’t let you help me with things as much as I should because I just want it to be done right, not done slowly with mistakes and learning. Sorry, all the people. I am really trying to learn how to keep my mouth shut and know that someone else’s way is different, but it’s probably just as good as mine.

Is there such a thing as a humble control freak???

Eight Years of Parenting.

Bigger and Better

Am I a Control Freak?