How Death Stops the World

Devona 3 Comments

We are all in the business of living. We plan our days out, we wake with a list to check off. We hop out of bed and begin the business anew with our morning coffee and eggs. But when the to-do list suddenly has funeral arrangements on it, everything else stops. Our family is in a grieving period. It’s still so fresh I’m unable to make any profound statements about it. But I am acutely aware that this business of grief trumps all the other work we had to do.

Bunkle

On Saturday morning Rob lost his grandfather, “Bunkle,” to a long fight with Alzheimer’s disease. His passing came suddenly, and though we were not completely prepared, the medical staff and grief councilors took amazing care of Bunkle and of our family. It was touching to be present in the room where a family took the time to care for each other so deeply. And it was moving to be there, giving reverence to the part of life which brings you into the next one.

So now we stop being fully present in this business of living. The deadlines have remained the same, but we are not attending to them with the same urgency we had before. Right now we are interrupted by remembrances. We are distracted by sorrow. Today we have prioritized loving our family and preparing for a funeral. Making a large meal is of utmost importance. We are taking the time to thank God for the life Bunkle lived, and the family he started. It’s not easy, but it is better than letting the grief pass you by, checking it off the list and moving on.

 

Octopus’s Garden

Devona 3 Comments

Halloween is my favorite holiday. I love it even more than Christmas. I think the reason I like Halloween so much is that no matter how much consumer junk there is available to just buy and be done with it, there is really no reason to accidentally spend $1000 on Halloween like there is for Christmas. Also, no matter how easy it is to buy a Halloween costume, it doesn’t discourage a ton of people from getting down with their creative self (even if they think they aren’t creative) to make a costume out of clothes from the thrift store or cardboard or fabric.

This year I spent the two weeks leading up to our school’s “Trunk or Treat” making a family’s worth of under the sea themed costumes. The girls all decided to be mermaids, so that was easy. We went online and looked at Google Images of mermaid costumes until they picked the one they liked the best. They settled on the ones that were the easiest to make, thank goodness, and I got them all done in one weekend.

Everyone say Hi to our neighbor, the fairy.

My original plan was to make a Cat Bus hoodie for my costume, but the girls told me I needed to be in the theme, so I changed my mind to octopus. I used 2 yards of fleece fabric (because it’s OHIO and it’s cold on Halloween every year) and draped it over my mannequin to make the pattern. There was no measuring, just guessing, because that is what knit fabric is for.

Notice I am not the only crazy person in this family.

I used jewelry wire to hold the non-sleeve tentacles in shape, and hot glued minkie fleece to the underside of the tentacles for suction cups.

Then we made a giant sand castle out of cardboard boxes and sprayed it with glitter glue. And put the whole thing in front of a fabric ocean scene hanging from the gate of our trunk. And for the whole event I played Octopus’s Garden by the Beatles on the van’s speakers. Can’t you tell everyone loved it?

Oh yeah. I never got a picture of it, but Rob wore a golden crown and carried a trident I made out of a hiking stick. And we passed out Swedish Fish.

I may have gone a bit overboard.

Eight Years of Parenting.

Devona 0 Comments

I can hardly believe that it was eight years ago that I first began my induction with Olivia. It feels like a whole life ago, and I guess it actually is a whole life ago. It was the beginning of Olivia’s life this side of the womb, the beginning of the life of our family, and the beginning of my life as a mother.

Olivia has changed almost everything about me. I had to learn to love myself so that she can grow to love herself. I had to learn to be responsible so that she would also be responsible. By teaching her to be respectful of all people, she challenges me to be respectful to others as well. She is excited about almost every day, and it rubs off on me. She is self motivated and a hard worker, which inspires me to get my work done. We could never have planned to be changed the way she has changed us, but all of the best changes always seem to be surprises.

Liv and Rob bond over reading books together. They are slowly working through every sci-fi and fantasy novel ever. Over the summer they read the first two Harry Potters and The Hobbit. He just ordered The Dragon Egg for her on his Kindle which she is carrying around with her all day. She read the first four chapters just this afternoon.

Olivia and I bond through being outdoors together. We love to hike and go camping. She is really proud to have me be her Girl Scout leader, and it fills me with joy. She has plans for building a girls only camp site on an island in the Cuyahoga River. I wish her all the luck in the world. Good thing we learned how to shoot a bow and arrow, she won’t go starving.

So here we are. Three kids later, our oldest is half way to driving. She likes to remind us all the time that she’s almost a teenager. I’m glad she’s not right, but I must say I don’t really fear parenting older kids like I once did. As they get older, we can do more together. We talk about their world, we make plans together and get them done. Also, they just spend time cracking me up. Eight years in and we’re just getting going!