I wrote a piece about ashes and Brittany to post tomorrow for Ash Wednesday, but I don’t think I’m ready to publish it yet.
But I can post this: Now I know what Lent is for. Today is still supposed to be Fat Tuesday, but I’ve been feeling ash Wednesday since April. I’m looking forward to Good Friday (or is it backwards to Good Friday?) and even more to Easter. And to the greater Easter which is yet to come.
Maybe I’ll change my mind tomorrow and 4 paragraphs about Lent will show up here instead of this. I feel very strongly that I should be writing about my experience. That it will help people. But I’m not brave enough yet. My words don’t give voice to what I’m actually experiencing. I think this is because my writing voice is not yet as mature as my life experience.
Living is harder than anyone ever told me it would be. Pain is not something you can scrub off with sarcasm or ignore until it evaporates. This is the beauty of it all. The joy, the hope, and the suffering is exactly the point. Be with it. Let it be real. Don’t ignore it or scrub it away. Embrace it, because it is there whether you give it attention or not. But if you don’t get down with experiencing it, you will be missing out on what Life is.
Ashes to ashes. Dust to dust.